"I still carry your name in my conversations"

Houston, TX | Originally written December 31, 2020

I still carry your name in my conversations.
It's heavy on my jaw, but the phantom pains allow me to feel as though you're still apart of my day-to-day.
It's how a whiskey-filled cup imitates the relief of your kiss, so I keep my lips to the glass until I'm able to find your smile at the bottom.
I wonder if you look for those same comforts in my absence.
And with that, I do a lot of things alone now and that's OK; I just hope this isn't one of those times.

- Carolyn, 29