Diary Entry by: Rain (they/them) | Illustrations by: Molly Hensley
Content warning: This journal writer is very brave for putting their story out there. They speak about some very difficult topics including addiction, death, and mental health.
Dear Diary,
Thinking back to when i finally lost them those couple months ago. we all knew how they had been struggling but then did any of us know to the extent? Because as i said goodnight to them that night and turned my phone off, i wouldn't have guessed what would have been the next day. Not in a billion years as silly as it sounds. And we were all so oblivious to it. It had been months after they first started abusing drugs and alcohol, everyday coming into school as high as the last. They'd smile when they had been clean for an hour. That's how i knew it was bad. They couldn't last more than 3 hours sober without losing it completely. I remember calculating the percentage for how many times they were abusing substances and it came up with 79% in January but went to 84 a couple days later. They were dying in front of my eyes and then they finally did. All because i couldn't save them. I wasn't strong enough to help them live and that's simply something i'll carry with me everywhere i go. The one person who taught me how to live, can no longer themselves. And now, i see my other closest friend do it. Follow in their footsteps unintentionally. The cycle is repeating and yet it's even worse than the last. I've already started morning someone who is alive. Because i know they wont be for longer. And that just hurts so bad.
please someone help them. because i'm trying, i'm trying so hard but it feels like i cant get through.
- Rain, 16
